I felt a bit less anxiety this morning. My experience of it isn't like ordinary fear. It's like the slowless and feeling of being ineffective that I've been feeling for a week. Having a purpose could help me overcome that feeling, and I had one this morning. My friend, Cassie, organized a birthday party parade on Facebook. She asked friends to drive by her place to say happy birthday to Kaitlynn, her daughter. I gave myself the task of printing a kind of banner that said "Happy birthday, Kaitlynn!" in multi-colored letters. My printer failed to print. I pulled out a crumpled piece of paper inside it, but after that it still took many tries to get a good print. I drove to Simi Valley knowing that heavy rain was predicted, but I caught a lucky break in the rain. There were only clouds in the sky when I got to Cassie's place. I waited my turn while Cassie took a picture of another car full of birthday greeters. I said "happy birthday" to Kaitlynn from a distance while Cassie took a picture of me and the banner, which she collected from me. I wasn't sure if I should give it to her, since you can be shedding the virus if you have it but are asymptomatic, but I gave it to her anyway. I'm sure Cassie is taking precautions against infection.

In the afternoon, I spoke to Steve on the phone. Steve is a mutual friend of Alycia's. He had previously told me that he was planning to give her some survival supplies like clothes and toilet paper. I asked him how it went. He said it didn't go well. She rejected all contact with him. There's nothing we can do for her but pray.
In the evening, I watched an episode of Black Lightning while cleaning the kitchen and bathroom floors. I'm almost done with that series. It's pretty cool. Later, I did an hour of cardio with a YouTube video. I was wondering if I was even capable of doing it. No one knows if they're sick unless they get tested, but you can't get tested unless you have symptoms. The only symptom I've had is shortness of breath. I decided that if I can't finish the workout, I should register for a test. To my relief, I was able to get through the whole workout. When I had rested a bit, I felt that I could breathe freely. Maybe I just had a chest cold before. Resting for a couple of days helped. I felt like I got what Chris Cuomo was saying about how he has been fighting the virus. It's about will, he said. The virus wants you to lie down. Don't. Get up and fight it. I'm thinking of that line from the first Captain America movie, when he's being beat up by a bully. Steve Rogers gets up from the ground, gets into a fighting stance, and says, "I can do this all day."
1 comment:
Love your blog! And I agree, purpose gives hope. And so do you!
Post a Comment